Before beginning work as a sex worker there will be many practical things you need advice on. We suggest you ring or drop in to SWOP to discuss these issues in more detail with one of our workers, who have all had experience in the sex industry.
Starting work
If you are starting work in a parlour or brothel you will find that the other workers are usually only too happy to share their knowledge and hand’s on experience about working in the sex industry. Sometimes there may be a little tension to start with as co-workers may be wary of the impact you will have on the workplace atmosphere and their earnings. Try to show sensitivity to existing egos and routines and hopefully you will receive the same consideration.
Your working persona
Sex work is very much like acting. For this reason it is the norm amongst workers to select a working or “stage” name. Try choosing a name that is not too different from your own. This can help you remember and respond to the name when someone calls you by it.
To guard their privacy, some workers create a cover story for clients and workmates. Being consistent and not overly inventive is a good idea. Be ready to respond to questions about your personal life that you don’t want to answer with remarks such as “I’d rather not talk about me – tell me something about you”, or simply “I’d rather not talk about my private life at work, thanks”.
Clothes and make-up
Before you start, check with the parlour about what sort of clothes you are expected to wear. Some establishments like their workers to wear classy evening wear, while others don’t mind you wearing more raunchy clothes or even just lingerie. When buying clothes for work be practical - think about how easy it will be to take them off and put them back on again quickly.
If the parlour expects you to be available for escorts, to include in your wardrobe something discreet so you don’t attract too much attention when you walk to your client’s door! A long overcoat is a good investment to wear on escorts.
Most parlours have lockers and it is a good idea to use them. Locking up your clothes and make-up while you are not in the girls’ room may save heart-ache and accusations if anything goes missing.
Boundaries
Always remember commercial sex does not mean that a client can pay money to you and then do what he likes. Most workers have a set of rules that they work by and try to stick to. Here is an example of a worker describing her service - “Standard service includes massage, head and sex. I don’t kiss. Anal sex is negotiable for an extra fee. You can cum once in a half hour booking and twice in an hour booking”. When you first meet a client, it is a good idea to specify what you do and don’t do to avoid confusion once the service begins.
Some sex workers will specialise in less standard sexual practices such as bi-couples, doubles, anal sex, bondage and discipline. It is important for your peace of mind never to do anything you are not comfortable with.
Prepare to assert yourself. Some new workers find this difficult at first until they gain confidence on the job. You will eventually come across clients who are insistent about not using condoms, especially for oral sex. Try to stay in good humour but if a client continues to insist on a service you don’t want to provide get up and leave the room. You can always make a quick excuse such as “I’ve forgotten something, won’t be a tick”. You may find it easier if the receptionist deals with the client for you.
Likewise, if a client is being insulting or trying to humiliate you, always remember you have the right to discontinue the service. In the ACT, sex workers in brothels are classified as sub-contractors – in essence, you work for yourself and hire the room from the brothel. So don’t let a brothel owner or manager pressure you to see anyone you don’t want to or do anything you don’t want to do.
Clients
How you look and behave will attract different sorts of clients and can also influence how they treat you. Expect your clients to come from all walks of life, different age groups, occupations and nationalities. Some will have disabilities, fetishes or mental and emotional problems of various sorts.
A large chunk of the money you can expect to make in the industry will come from “regulars”, clients who come back to see you again and again. How many regulars you have will depend to a large extent on how you treat the clients. Trying to have a cheerful attitude will help ensure return business.
Condoms
In the ACT it is an offence under the Prostitution Act 1992, to either provide or receive commercial sexual services, vaginal or oral, without using condoms/dams/etc. Be well prepared with a personal supply of condoms, water-based lube and dental dams. Most brothels in the ACT provide condoms, lubricant and other prophylactics free of charge. This is a requirement of the Workcover Code of Practice for the Sex Industry (March 2005) [PDF] .
It’s a good idea to keep a supply of flavoured condoms especially for oral sex. Also, pink-coloured condoms are always handy for working when you have your period (used in conjunction with sponges of course!!).
Most workers find it is a good idea to take a couple of different sized condoms with them to the job, eg small and large. It is not always a case of one size fits all. Condoms are available for sale from SWOP.
Tips on how to use a condom...
Lube
When you are having sex several times a day it is important to use a good, water-based lubricant. This makes it less likely that the condom will break because it reduces friction – and causes less wear and tear for you.
Avoid massage oil as it causes condoms to break down. Sorbolene cream can be used for massages, is a condom safe and many clients prefer it as it has no scent. Water based lube is available for sale from SWOP.
Dental dams
Some workers allow clients to perform oral sex on them. Dental dams are squares of thin latex to put across your pussy if the client goes down on you. They will provide you with protection against herpes, gonorrhoea and Hepatitis B which can all be passed through saliva. Dams are available for sale from SWOP.
Practical details
If you are starting work in a brothel try to get a co-worker to come to the room with you and go over some practical details such as:
Where are the supplies of condoms, towels, soap, massage oil and tissues, etc?
How to operate the different pieces of equipment in the room and adjoining areas eg light settings, shower, sauna, video, etc?
Time-keeping procedures. Who is responsible for keeping track of time while you and the client are in the room together and how will they tell you when time is up?
Are personal alarms fitted in the room? How can you quickly alert someone if your personal safety is at risk?
How are you expected to tidy the room after use?
Starting the job
Suppose now that the introduction is finished, the client has made his choice, you or the receptionist has collected the money (money up front – always!) and you are heading to the room with him. It is impossible to provide a full description that covers all sex-work situations, so the following advice needs to be read selectively according to your workplace, whether it be private or in a brothel.
Checking the client for sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
Read our guide on how to do a check, and what to look for...
Structuring your time
A good question to begin the service with is “how do you want to spend your time with me.” Structure the time around your client’s answer. Many workers give a massage first to relax the client and break the ice. However, some clients don’t want a massage.
If the client has paid for an hour you don’t necessarily want to get him off in the first 10 minutes so pace yourself. Try and develop a routine that creates a balance between chatting, sensual massage and sex. This can avoid long bouts of strenuous sex, though if you feel like long bouts of strenuous sex go ahead!
Try never to give the impression you are rushing a client as he has paid his money and deserves his time. Of course this doesn’t apply if he is being a jerk.
Using condoms and lube
Most working-girls put the condom on the client themselves to make sure it’s on properly and to prevent any sabotage. Many workers find it easier to put the condom on as soon as the client has an erection without discussion or comment. Read more tips on how to put a condom on...
If a condom breaks or slips off Refer to the guide Condom broke or slipped?
Money
Remember never to leave the client alone in the room with your money. In ACT brothels, the receptionist will take the money first but if you work privately it is your responsibility. Always take you money/hand-bag into the bathroom with you when you go to have a shower.
What you make depends on how many clients you see. You may be working with someone who makes several hundred dollars a night or someone who makes next to nothing. Sex work is highly individual. Some sex workers have lots of regular clients, some do not. Looking good and being confident is a decisive factor.
Be sensitive if you are a high earner. Don’t talk about how much you are making or count your money in public. Undercutting other workers or talking them down in front of a client is not an acceptable way of working and will make you very unpopular.
Discretion
Be careful what you reveal about yourself to co-workers and clients. You may not always be on good terms with everybody and you don’t want your personal details broadcast to all and sundry. Try also to respect you workmates privacy and don’t talk about them to clients. Don’t automatically believe anything a client tells you about a co-worker, the sexual services they provide and the prices they are prepared to do it for.
Some sex workers discourage clients from confiding in them too much. Remember, if they tell you too much about themselves and their problems they may be embarrassed to see you again or may remember the encounter as an unpleasant one.
Clients usually value their privacy and may resent you asking too many questions about them, their work or their family life.
It’s often wise to try to distance yourself from your clients. If you treat all your regular clients as friends you run the risk of being hurt if they switch loyalties and visit other workers. Don’t take client claims that you are very special to them too seriously as they may be saying the same thing to other workers.
Occasionally a client will come along who becomes overly infatuated with you. Try not to lead him on and do your best to help him see reality. If he becomes a problem, eg turning up on every shift you work or ringing you constantly (if you work privately) you may have to discourage him more firmly.
Common problems in the workplace
Here are some common problems almost every worker encounters and some tips on how to deal with them.
Client’s inability to get and erection or to ejaculate
What happens if the client is adamant he wants to “put it in” and you have been patiently trying to give him an erection and nothing is happening?
You’ve tried sensual massage, body slides, erotic talk, hand relief, but his weeny still won’t cooperate? Older clients in particular may have this problem and like to hold on to the illusion that they can still perform.
“Trick sex” may work in these situations. This involves using your hand to create the impression that the penis has found an orifice. Position your hand between your legs and jerk him off. Make sure you put a condom on him and this might not always be easy on a flaccid penis. If trick sex doesn’t work you might like to encourage him to arouse himself. A man who has regular erection problems will often know how best to wank himself.
Alternatively, you can create an instant cock ring to encourage erection by unrolling a condom half way, breaking it to leave just the rolled up base and stretching it around the penis.
If it is obvious a client has had too much alcohol or drugs you need to handle the situation with care. Try not to argue with them, offer them a massage but don’t take any shit! Use statement sentences that require no response from them. If they demand their money back, and some of them will, keep your cool while maintaining that you have provided the service they requested and if they can’t get it up, that’s their problem. Reassure them that you’d love to see them when they are sober.
Do your best not to let a client’s inability to get an erection effect you. It’s not a reflection on your attractiveness or your service but is completely to do with them.
Working with your period
When you’re bleeding it’s not always possible to take time off work. Diaphragms and sponges are two recommended forms of sanitary protection available.
Diaphragms are a mini rubber dish that fits over the cervix and they have the advantage of being easier to clean and reuse. Initially you will have to have a fitting (your GP, Canberra Sexual Health Centre or Sexual Health and Family Planning of the ACT can do this) and after a bit of practice you can easily insert and remove them;
Sponges are cheap, disposable and easy to insert, though they can sometimes be difficult to remove. Sponges are available for sale from SWOP.
To insert the sponge, dampen it in water and squeeze out the excess. Insert the sponge into the vagina as far as it will go, like a tampon.
To remove, gently put your fingers inside and take hold with your index finger and thumb. Make sure you remove the sponge between clients and wash and throw it out. Sponges are single use only.
If you have trouble getting the sponge out, don’t panic. This has happened to almost every worker. Sometimes the sponge tucks itself up next to your cervix. The sponge cannot get past your cervix so there’s no chance it can travel up into your uterus and really get lost. The sponge will be easier to extract if you get into a squatting or lying down position and relax.
Good luck
Good luck with your first client and your future working career. SWOP ACT hopes this article will make your introduction to sex work a little easier. We also hope that it will encourage experienced sex workers to share their skills and knowledge with those just starting out.
Disclaimer: This information is of a general nature and is meant as a guide only. SWOP accepts no responsibility for the accuracy, currency, completeness or relevance for purpose of any material contained herein. SWOP recommends that workers exercise care when using the information and obtain professional advice appropriate to their circumstances.
